I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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