I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
