so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I want a musical about memes.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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