Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
