Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
