You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Floor bacon is actually really good
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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