how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
