You're my little dorito
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
