So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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