Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
