She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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