my soul wont recognize me after tonight
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
