terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
