Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize