I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
