The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
