Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
