if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
