Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
