Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
