I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
