Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
