If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
they need to just BURY HIM!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
