Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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