Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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