Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
