Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
