Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
