Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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