the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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