Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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