Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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