I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
