My liver just broke up with me...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
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