I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
