the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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