U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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