ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
