is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
3pm strippers are depressing
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
