I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i think my cat just said my name.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
