I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
