Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
how drunk are you?
Several
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
