oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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