I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
