well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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