please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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