So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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