I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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