I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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