Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
