i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize