Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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