If i come over, it means nothing
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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