The maid of honor just puked.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
