Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
