He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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