I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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