that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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