Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
