You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize