Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
