Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
