Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
