I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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